Not The Brightest Bulb...

Not The Brightest Bulb...

#notthebrightestbulb  #blogschmog  #randomthoughts #bobblog

Have you bought light bulbs lately?  This used to be a quick, easy, mundane task.  Not anymore.  On a recent trip to Home Depot I stopped by the light bulb section to pick up a few bulbs.  The “section” is now an entire aisle.  After walking up and down the aisle a few times I realized this was not going to be a simple, visual purchase; this was going to be more of a pack a lunch pail type job.  I was going to have to put in a little time.

So I reluctantly started reading the boxes in hopes of finding a simple bulb to fit some can lights. About 10 minutes in I realized I was no closer to completing my errand than when I walked through the door.  In fact, I was worse off, as I was now slightly confused and my moral was fading fast.  I had lost my light bulb swagger.  A little embarrassed by how long this was taking me, I did a quick look around me to see if there were any families point and laughing.  There wasn’t.  There were just three other people standing in front of various sections of the aisle gazing at the bulbs with empty looks on their faces.  Kind of like the look I get when my wife starts explaining debits, credits and accrual reversals to me.

Finally after about 30 minutes I made my decision.  Partly out of being semi informed and partly out of being semi embarrassed at having spent a half a phuking hour buying a light bulb, I coolly strolled out of Home Depot with two light bulbs that cost me like $70!  IDK, they are supposed to last like 9 ½ years or something.  Yet another scam.  I can’t even remember what I ate for lunch, I’m sure not going to remember how long ago I replaced a light bulb.  And for those who haven’t been light bulb shopping recently and think I’m exaggerating, check out http://www.homedepot.com/b/Electrical-Light-Bulbs/N-5yc1vZbmbu?catStyle=ShowProducts where you can find a simple selection of 2,518 lighting choices including the Philips MasterColor 25-Watt PAR38 Integrated Ceramic Metal Halide HID Light Bulb with 1450 lumens of brightness and a life hour rating of 13.7 years for a mere $69.97.  If Humphry Davy were alive today he’d say FTN (fuck that noise).  Yeah, Edison didn’t invent the light bulb, he “improved” it and put us down the slippery slope to the Philips MasterColor 25-Watt PAR38 Integrated Ceramic Metal Halide HID Light Bulb with 1450 lumens of brightness and a life hour rating of 13.7 years. Yeah, thanks for that Tommy boy.