New Years Schmu Years...

#newyearsschmuyears #bobblog; #randomthoughts

 

 

Happy New Year! 

 

The New Year holiday is very cathartic.  It’s arrival tends to give those in need that glimmer of hope that with a tick of the clock…with a Seacrest supervised ball drop, they are given a fresh slate to improve their lives and start a fresh…new…more successful year!   Spoiler alert…it’s just another day, people!  But, and this is a Kardashian sized but…the great news is, that with every frickin breath you take, that clean slate is right there…right in front of you.  You don’t need Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin ringing in a new year to change your fate.  In fact, you don’t need Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin for anything…ever.   If you want to make changes in your life, improve things, or keep riding the wave you’re on, you can start doing that right…now…now…or even…now.  You don’t need to wait for a new year.  Every day people do amazing things all over the world.  Some things impact many, some impact few, but these things are going on EVERY DAY.  If it takes a new year to get you motivated to improve things, that’s cool.  But don’t WAIT for a new year to improve things.  And don’t fool yourself into thinking that a date change is going to facilitate the “change” you are looking for.  That’s on you.  If change is what you’re after, I recommend setting some goals and keeping track of how you’re doing. 

 

So here’s to a great 2015 and achieving all the things you wish to achieve.  And if you choose to wait until June 12^th at 7:43 p.m. to get started, that’s ok.   

Fitbit...I think not.

#fitbit   #bobblog  #randomthoughts

 

Have you seen those Fitbit things?  They go on your wrist and they track pretty much everything you do.  How many steps you take, how you sleep, etc.  I was thinking about getting one.  Kind of hoping a Hawthorne effect would kick in.  If I was aware of how many steps I took, how active I was, then maybe it would push me to be more active.  Anyway, I starting thinking about it and decided maybe I wasn’t worthy of the Fitbit.  I mean, how are other Fitbit wearers going to feel when they see me standing around drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette with my Fitbit on my wrist.  I don’t want to be looked down on like the pregnant lady at the bar.  This isn’t my first insecurity when it comes to fitness.  The main reason I’ve never joined a gym is because I’m not in shape.  Yeah, that’s right.  I feel like I’m not fit enough to join a gym.  I don’t want to be the guy who gets off the bench press machine…wipes it down… and then watches the women who took my place move the peg to a higher weight as she gazes at me with a look of judgment and pity, kind of like I was a homeless man and she’s not quite sure if it’s due to me being unfortunate or lazy.  So for now I will continue to do baby workouts at my house and I’ll be sans Fitbit.  Maybe I should invent the Unfitbit.  It could track my inactivity, how much wine I drink, and how many cigarettes I smoke.  That shit would def scare me straight.  Hell, I’d probably join a gym!!  Happy Tuesday peeps. 

Are those jeans dirty???

#arethosejeansdirty   #bobblog   #randomthoughts

This morning I caught myself “half” throwing a pair of jeans in the hamper. I pitched my shirt and socks in but then draped the pants over the side of the basket. It was like I couldn’t fully commit to letting them go. I find I stage my clothes more often than I should and I blame my poor upbringing. Poor as in “Why did you throw that bath towel in the laundry!? You’ve only used it for three weeks! And save that bathwater for your sister” poor. I mean we were green before green was green. So a pair of jeans that’s only been on for a couple hours may make it back in the closet (don’t judge me!), a shirt may find a home on the chair while I contemplate it’s next move and a pair of jeans that may be your last clean ones…the hamper hang. Here’s to a modest upbringing, keeping it green and stinky clothes.

Take a breath and enjoy...

#takeabreath   #bobblog   #randomthoughts

Ok. So here’s the deal. We all know that the next few days are going to be more hectic than an A.D.D. party at Chucky Cheese’s. We all put a ton of pressure on ourselves to create the perfect xmas. We all have a thousand places to go, presents to give and all that other bs. So in all the craziness please don’t lose sight of what it’s all about. This is where you insert what it’s all about to you. Could be the gifts, the food or little baby Jesus. For me, it’s all about spending time with the people I love. So regardless of what it’s all about to you, just make sure at some point you take even a couple of minutes to step back, consciously think about it and soak it all up. Happy Christmas FB peeps. Hope you all have a great one!

Did you get it...

#didyougetit    #bobblog   #randomthoughts

I was watching a tv show about a kidnapping. The kidnapper called in (as always) and the cops "didn't get" the trace (as always).  But here's my question, in this day and age can we really not get a trace or is this just something the screenwriters are holding on to because it makes for a good plot?

I can use my smartphone to buy a pair of shoes, record the kidnapping tv show, and post a video while listening to the Jay Z song I just downloaded off of iTunes, but a room full of FBI agents with state of the art equipment can't run a trace on a phone call??  Star 69 for phuks sake.  I feel like we are being duped. 

Chocolatier...oh you fancy, huh.

#chocolatier   #bobblog    #randomthoughts

Chocolatier.  I love that word.  Say it with me...chocolatier.  Now that's one fancy way of saying "I make candy".  So what do you do for work?  "Well, my good man, I earn my keep as a right fine chocolatier."  Chocolatier...sommelier...sous chef...I wish I had a cool word like that for selling produce.  Happy Monday.  Now go visit your local chocolatier and start working on that holiday food baby!

Man bag...I think yes.

#manbag;  #bobblog;  #randomthoughts

I’ve always made fun of the man-bag (For my sick friends, not what you’re thinking. But while we’re on topic, why is this fragile equipment on the outside of our bodies.  Major design flaw.  Thinking maybe we could have tucked this safely inside.  Maybe behind the appendix. Better yet, replace the appendix, we don’t need it. Ok, back to my original thought.) and even worse the dreaded fanny pack.  But the reality is, if I’m being honest, I would carry a purse if it was socially acceptable.  I was never a boy scout but I do like being prepared.  Now I’m not talking about carrying around a box of Band-Aids and a rape whistle.  I’m talking more like being prepared to facility a party if and when it breaks out.  Core items would have to include my iPod (and I’m talking my old school pod that has 14k songs on it because nothing kills a party like not being able to play that special requested song…); portable speaker; bottle/wine opener; hacky sack (haven’t played since my fourth period hockey days but I do love that game); back up lip balm (because supple lips are the building blocks of a good day); iPhone charger (because I’m all Joaquin Phoenix with my phone); cigarettes (because I’m a social smoker and you never know when it’s time to be social); my old man cheater glasses (let’s just leave that one alone); GUM GUM GUM!; one tampon (so the important women in my life know I have their back…don’t judge me…I have a two daughters and grew up with three sisters); two pairs of sunglasses (because sunglasses are a core fashion accessory); deodorant/after shave lotion/Jan Marini face protection/tooth brush/B & B hair gel…I could go on.  Bottom line, I have a lot of stuff I could carry around.  I think I’d need to go with a large Hobo bag…Gucci…no…make it Prada. 

Smoking lady...

#smokinglady   #bobblog   #randomthoughts

Every morning on my way to work I pass a smoking lady (a women smoking, not “smokin’ hot”…she may be, idk, more on that later) on her porch above the Mexican restaurant.  It’s dark so I see mostly a silhouette, but I see her every morning.  When I see Smoking Lady, without fail, I wonder what’s her story.  Is she young?  Old?  What does she do for a living? Why does she smoke so much?  Is she stressed out?  Why do I assume she smokes a lot?  Maybe she’s a one and done each morning.  Does she have breakfast before she smokes?  Or maybe the cigarette IS her breakfast.  Does she go to work smelling of smoke?  Do her co-workers talk about the way she smells?  I’m assuming no on both of these because she goes outside to smoke so she’s making an effort to avoid the smoky smell.  How did she come to live above the Mexican restaurant?  Does she like it?  Does her apartment smell like a chimichanga?  I’m not judging, we all have our vices.  If I lived above a Mexican restaurant I’d be on my porch drinking margaritas…and probably smoking too.  Oh well, here’s to you Smoking Lady!  You are shrouded in mystery, a dark coat and a cloud a smoke but your mere presence gives my brain a daily jumpstart.  Happy Wednesday!

Think circular...

#thinkcircular;   #bobblog;  #randomthoughts

This is my Lion King post.  Think circular.  Most things in life are cyclical.  Weather, fashion, financial markets.  Almost everything comes back full circle.  So why is it that we get in the rut of thinking linear.  Linear thinking is depressing.  "I want this to happen.  It didn't.  The end.  Bummer."  That's no good!  Think circular.  Endings, good or bad, offer you a chance to start over.  Starting over can be refreshing.  Plan-execute-evaluate-learn-revise plan.  Keep it positive.  Keep it circular.  Keep it rolling forward.

Down the wrong pipe...

#downthewrongpipe  #bobblog  #randomthoughts

Do you ever choke on your own spit?

One minute you are sitting there happy as a clam and an instant later due to some kind of body glitch you get a little spit down the old wind hole and spend the next 5 minutes of your life coughing, choking and holding up a finger nodding your cherry red face in an effort to tell your friends you're ok as they gaze at you with their little judgey faces. 

It usually happens to me at really awkward moments like during a biz meeting or when someone is making a presentation.  This really makes it awkward because it's not like you were eating lunch and pulling a Momma Cass.  You were just sitting there...quietly...and then it hits and there is nowhere to hide!

People always say "oh, something went down the wrong pipe".  I have to admit, I'm more than a little confused by this.  How many pipes do we have?  How does your body know which one to use?  I think I need to do some pipe research.   

Sock Tissue

#socktissue   #bobblog  #randomthoughts


Can someone please explain the purpose of the little tissues they stick in the tops of a new pair of socks.  It's kind of like the appendix of the sock world...

And speaking of socks, do you ever pull on a sock and it doesn't quite go on just right.  It's a little twisted, a little off.  And no matter how much you fidget with it, you can't get it right.  It just feels awkward.  It's kind of like working with Saran Wrap, you only get one shot to make it work and if you don't get it right on the first try you're screwed.  If this happens to you, my advice is to pull off the uncooperative sock and pull on a fresh new pair.  Life is a pretty short ride so make sure it's a comfortable one.