Fitbit...I think not.

#fitbit   #bobblog  #randomthoughts

 

Have you seen those Fitbit things?  They go on your wrist and they track pretty much everything you do.  How many steps you take, how you sleep, etc.  I was thinking about getting one.  Kind of hoping a Hawthorne effect would kick in.  If I was aware of how many steps I took, how active I was, then maybe it would push me to be more active.  Anyway, I starting thinking about it and decided maybe I wasn’t worthy of the Fitbit.  I mean, how are other Fitbit wearers going to feel when they see me standing around drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette with my Fitbit on my wrist.  I don’t want to be looked down on like the pregnant lady at the bar.  This isn’t my first insecurity when it comes to fitness.  The main reason I’ve never joined a gym is because I’m not in shape.  Yeah, that’s right.  I feel like I’m not fit enough to join a gym.  I don’t want to be the guy who gets off the bench press machine…wipes it down… and then watches the women who took my place move the peg to a higher weight as she gazes at me with a look of judgment and pity, kind of like I was a homeless man and she’s not quite sure if it’s due to me being unfortunate or lazy.  So for now I will continue to do baby workouts at my house and I’ll be sans Fitbit.  Maybe I should invent the Unfitbit.  It could track my inactivity, how much wine I drink, and how many cigarettes I smoke.  That shit would def scare me straight.  Hell, I’d probably join a gym!!  Happy Tuesday peeps. 

Are those jeans dirty???

#arethosejeansdirty   #bobblog   #randomthoughts

This morning I caught myself “half” throwing a pair of jeans in the hamper. I pitched my shirt and socks in but then draped the pants over the side of the basket. It was like I couldn’t fully commit to letting them go. I find I stage my clothes more often than I should and I blame my poor upbringing. Poor as in “Why did you throw that bath towel in the laundry!? You’ve only used it for three weeks! And save that bathwater for your sister” poor. I mean we were green before green was green. So a pair of jeans that’s only been on for a couple hours may make it back in the closet (don’t judge me!), a shirt may find a home on the chair while I contemplate it’s next move and a pair of jeans that may be your last clean ones…the hamper hang. Here’s to a modest upbringing, keeping it green and stinky clothes.

Take a breath and enjoy...

#takeabreath   #bobblog   #randomthoughts

Ok. So here’s the deal. We all know that the next few days are going to be more hectic than an A.D.D. party at Chucky Cheese’s. We all put a ton of pressure on ourselves to create the perfect xmas. We all have a thousand places to go, presents to give and all that other bs. So in all the craziness please don’t lose sight of what it’s all about. This is where you insert what it’s all about to you. Could be the gifts, the food or little baby Jesus. For me, it’s all about spending time with the people I love. So regardless of what it’s all about to you, just make sure at some point you take even a couple of minutes to step back, consciously think about it and soak it all up. Happy Christmas FB peeps. Hope you all have a great one!

Did you get it...

#didyougetit    #bobblog   #randomthoughts

I was watching a tv show about a kidnapping. The kidnapper called in (as always) and the cops "didn't get" the trace (as always).  But here's my question, in this day and age can we really not get a trace or is this just something the screenwriters are holding on to because it makes for a good plot?

I can use my smartphone to buy a pair of shoes, record the kidnapping tv show, and post a video while listening to the Jay Z song I just downloaded off of iTunes, but a room full of FBI agents with state of the art equipment can't run a trace on a phone call??  Star 69 for phuks sake.  I feel like we are being duped. 

Chocolatier...oh you fancy, huh.

#chocolatier   #bobblog    #randomthoughts

Chocolatier.  I love that word.  Say it with me...chocolatier.  Now that's one fancy way of saying "I make candy".  So what do you do for work?  "Well, my good man, I earn my keep as a right fine chocolatier."  Chocolatier...sommelier...sous chef...I wish I had a cool word like that for selling produce.  Happy Monday.  Now go visit your local chocolatier and start working on that holiday food baby!

Man bag...I think yes.

#manbag;  #bobblog;  #randomthoughts

I’ve always made fun of the man-bag (For my sick friends, not what you’re thinking. But while we’re on topic, why is this fragile equipment on the outside of our bodies.  Major design flaw.  Thinking maybe we could have tucked this safely inside.  Maybe behind the appendix. Better yet, replace the appendix, we don’t need it. Ok, back to my original thought.) and even worse the dreaded fanny pack.  But the reality is, if I’m being honest, I would carry a purse if it was socially acceptable.  I was never a boy scout but I do like being prepared.  Now I’m not talking about carrying around a box of Band-Aids and a rape whistle.  I’m talking more like being prepared to facility a party if and when it breaks out.  Core items would have to include my iPod (and I’m talking my old school pod that has 14k songs on it because nothing kills a party like not being able to play that special requested song…); portable speaker; bottle/wine opener; hacky sack (haven’t played since my fourth period hockey days but I do love that game); back up lip balm (because supple lips are the building blocks of a good day); iPhone charger (because I’m all Joaquin Phoenix with my phone); cigarettes (because I’m a social smoker and you never know when it’s time to be social); my old man cheater glasses (let’s just leave that one alone); GUM GUM GUM!; one tampon (so the important women in my life know I have their back…don’t judge me…I have a two daughters and grew up with three sisters); two pairs of sunglasses (because sunglasses are a core fashion accessory); deodorant/after shave lotion/Jan Marini face protection/tooth brush/B & B hair gel…I could go on.  Bottom line, I have a lot of stuff I could carry around.  I think I’d need to go with a large Hobo bag…Gucci…no…make it Prada. 

Smoking lady...

#smokinglady   #bobblog   #randomthoughts

Every morning on my way to work I pass a smoking lady (a women smoking, not “smokin’ hot”…she may be, idk, more on that later) on her porch above the Mexican restaurant.  It’s dark so I see mostly a silhouette, but I see her every morning.  When I see Smoking Lady, without fail, I wonder what’s her story.  Is she young?  Old?  What does she do for a living? Why does she smoke so much?  Is she stressed out?  Why do I assume she smokes a lot?  Maybe she’s a one and done each morning.  Does she have breakfast before she smokes?  Or maybe the cigarette IS her breakfast.  Does she go to work smelling of smoke?  Do her co-workers talk about the way she smells?  I’m assuming no on both of these because she goes outside to smoke so she’s making an effort to avoid the smoky smell.  How did she come to live above the Mexican restaurant?  Does she like it?  Does her apartment smell like a chimichanga?  I’m not judging, we all have our vices.  If I lived above a Mexican restaurant I’d be on my porch drinking margaritas…and probably smoking too.  Oh well, here’s to you Smoking Lady!  You are shrouded in mystery, a dark coat and a cloud a smoke but your mere presence gives my brain a daily jumpstart.  Happy Wednesday!