Whistle while you spit

Happy Monday...or is it...

Karen Carpenter would have not been happy this morning, but I was in a pretty good mood for someone driving into work at 6 a.m. on a dark, rainy Monday.  I had my travel coffee, little heat going and some music.  Everything was going great until, while whistling along to a song I spit on myself.  Now I'm not talking, I went to whistle and sprayed a little.  I'm talking, I was in a full out whistle and for some inexplicable reason, I had a breach in the lip area and a full out pool of drool dripped onto the front of my shirt. 

With his one, seemingly insignificant, involuntary act, shit got real.  It was like a party ender.  One second the music was blaring and I was jumping around with a shot of tequila hoisted in the air and the next second, the cops were at the door.

When you drool on yourself at 6 a.m. and you are not drunk and/or sleeping, it's a cold water in the face moment that quickly reminded me that I'm old and stupid. 

On the surface, drooling on myself was bad.  But if we do a deeper dive...well...things get worse.  For starters I was tuned into First Wave and got really excited when the 31 year old song 99 Red Balloons by Nena came on.  Excited to the point that I turned it up and may or may not have played some air keyboards...  Nothing old about that.  Now let's shift gears a little and take a look at the fact that I was whistling along with the song.  Whistling!  What am I Bing Crosby.  Who whistles anymore.  I must have looked like Farris Bueller's dad in that scene when he's driving and Farris is trying to beat him back to the house. 

So yeah, I'm that guy now.  Not sure when exactly I jumped the shark but at some point I officially reached old, stupid man status.  The bad news is, I think this happened a long time ago.  The good news is, it must have been a gradual transition because for a while now, I have been very content whistling along to some sweet 80's tunes while making fun of the "old people". 

So as I approach the balance of this rainy Monday I'd like to think I do so a wiser man.  I realize that before I judge others, not only will I put myself in their shoes, but I may want to check and make sure I'm not already wearing them.  I also realize that old people do funny shit.  I mean drooling on yourself while trying to whistle along to a song is comedy gold.  Sure it's a little more physical comedy while I've always leaned toward cerebral but heck, Jerry Lewis did alright with it.